Adventures in Dating

You people keep bitching about no recent posts, so, now that my evening plans are cancelled tonight, I have a few moments to write!

First things first: things with Irish are still going well. We hit a…well…”snag” recently, but I think it’s going to be okay. I have decided not to write about the “snag” due to the sensitive nature of the issue. Suffice it to say: I was shocked, and a tad frightened. But, we have discussed the issue, and things seem to be on their way to being rectified.

Shy Guy…never responded to my email. However, I sent him another one when I got back to the East Coast, and then remembered that he’s in Mexico. However, I can’t remember when he gets back, so I don’t know when to start hoping to get a response. I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but the pictures he had on his profile weren’t all that great. There were like 2 out of 5 or 6 that were really good, and the other ones were really not attractive. So, I was pleasantly surprised when I met him and saw that he is quite cute. Well, he posted a new, more recent picture of himself….SUCH a good pic! And now I’m going to be even more sad if he blows me off! I’ve also decided that if he does not blow me off, and we go out again, and he still doesn’t kiss me, I may kiss him…Maybe. I’m conflicted with Irish. But I’ll get to that in a sec.

Texas. Gone.  Done. Over.
I emailed him when I got back from the West Coast, and he didn’t respond. Then I decided to check him out again on Match to try and remember if he was worth my time, and I can’t find his profile! Which either means that he cancelled it, or…he blocked me.  Hmm… Either way, whatever.

So, Internal Irish Conflict. Here goes:

My most recent actual relationship was a few years back. He was a very nice guy…weak, but nice. I should never have gotten involved with him. I had been feeling lonely, and I knew he liked me. He was shorter than me, and cute, but nothing amazing. He liked me way more than I liked him (said “I love you” within like 3 weeks…yikes!!).
When I moved to NYC I decided that I was not going to date anyone I didn’t find to be amazingly attractive. Why should I settle? So, I spent my time with law school guys…I mean, they were all good looking (one of them…wow. I can’t even tell you. Dark with green eyes.), but they weren’t exactly the nicest people. And many of them were random hooks ups. Regardless, I kissed some damn beautiful men over the past couple of years. But that was it. Kissing. And a bit of heartbreak. Then I decided to join Match.

One Match, I have only conversed with a few beautiful men. The rest of been cute enough. Same with the guys I’ve met. Shy Guy is probably the most attractive, but he still isn’t GORGEOUS, you know?

I suppose you can tell by now that this post is going to be painfully superficial. But, well, that’s reality. That’s me. So, deal with it, and let’s move on. =)

I get that looks aren’t the most important thing. I do. But, again, why should I settle for someone who isn’t amazing on all levels? Or is that a pipe dream? Maybe I should stop hanging out with beautiful gay men who only date other beautiful gay men. Perhaps that’s skewing my life perspective…Of course, it’s not just my gay friends. My engaged friends (you know who you are!) are also dating beautiful men.

Anyway, Irish. He’s cute. But he doesn’t take my breath away. I don’t look at him and LUST, you know? He’s cute, but he’s not…I don’t know. I do fele shitty that I’m even considering this, but I am. When we’re walking together sometimes I see some beautiful man, and I almost regret that I am there, holding hands or whatever, with Irish. And then I feel shitty again.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this post. I guess I’m just venting.

I can tell he’s on his way to a more monogamous place, but I’m dragging my feet. I mean, I’m not really actively trying to date Match men anymore, but is this because I’m lazy, or busy, or because I’m good with Irish? I look at him and think, can I do better?

I feel like friggin Goldilocks…