Adventures in Dating

a) I heart Joshua Radin. Yeah, it just needs to be said. I do.

b) My Dating Guru? Yeah, he got off the phone with me tonight to watch the new 90210. I’m not gonna lie–that was painful.

c) My train-ride home. The point of this blog (other than how much I heart Joshua Radin).

When I got on the train, I sat across from this couple who were probably in their late 50s, early 60s. Now, whose to say if they were married to one another (they each had wedding rings), or if they were married to each other, but, in my mind, they were married to one another, and had been for many many years. They were laughing so privately, and so hard, together. He would say something, and she would go into convulsions of laughter, and he would, super cutely,  modestly laugh into his hand. They did this for the entire 25 minutes we were on the train together. That right there is the best romance story: Married for decades, but still able to not only make one another laugh in convulsions, but to thorougly and honestly enjoy one another. It was awesome.

A stop or two after I got on the train, a new-ish kind-of couple got on the train. These two people brought many thoughts to my mind:

1) It’s funny how when we are completely single (well, when I am completely single with absolutely no prospects, I am a bitter bitter person towards young love. I am cynical and bitchy. But, at the point I’m at with Irish, and with just dating in general, I find it super cute, and, well…entertaining.

2) The entertaining aspect: It’s funny how younger guys (they were at the very most 21, possibly younger) do the same “tricks” that older guys do, but, they do it in such a way that you can tell that they don’t yet realize that women know these tricks. The guy was super cute (actually, he was GORGEOUS in profile, and really not that attractive front-on), and the girl was so-so, but he…well, he was obvious. One of the things I love about NYC men is that they carry man-bags, and are comfortable doing so. He had the bag over the groinal region the entire time….yeah, dude, fyi: we all know you’re hard. Sorry to break it to you (side note: Winter! Do you remember that one night at the club in SLO the guy who was leaning up against the stage with the crazy boner!??! Aaaw, good times.)

And then the super, disgusting cuteness: She was sitting up against the side rail on the subway bench, and he was sitting next to her–practically in her lap. In fact, he had his legs kind spread out, so it made him press up against her even more. Yeah, I’m sorry, Guys, but women know that trick. He was also slouching down more and more as the train ride went on. This, in my experience, signifies the guy trying to get closer to a girl who is shorter than himself, and also to get in a better position to be kissed (Girls, if he’s getting in thej position to BE kissed, turn around and leave! It’s always best to be kissed the first time…In my overly-experienced-ness of being the first kisser. Fuck that.). And then she was licking her lips, and he was biting his lower lip. And, I have to say, this guy with the gorgeous profile and biting his lip–I almost got out of my seat, stradled him, and started making out with him. Daaaamn. And she did NOTHING. Crazy chick (of course, maybe she was following my advice above, and was waiting for him to kiss her). It was all painfully adorable. Especially because they weren’t so young as to be annoying, and weren’t so old as ot be annoying.

The worst part about these two: the chick got off at my stop, adn the guy didn’t. But wait, that’s not the worst. When She went to leave, she gave him a big hug, said she would talk to him later, then practically BOOKED it off the train. Possibly suggesting she didn’t want to kiss him, or suggesting her insecurity.  At the very least, the fact that he let her get off the train without offering to walk her home signifies HIS insecurity or his inexperienceness. Either way, I was sad for the two of them….

I really don’t know where this post is going. I’ve been drinking for hours. And listening to Joshue Radin. Hey,  it would make you watch the mating rituals of 20-year-olds, too!!!!